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Cincy preview - Laugh now

Oct. 30th, 2004 11:20 am Cincy preview

over 18 snorts
7 belches

Friday Quotes

"Bad cleavage management." - Heather

"You give boobs a bad name." - Miranda

"She's snoring." - Heather re: Theresa sleeping through LGM2

"Kitty porn!" - Heather

"It should have been P for Porn or I for Icky." - Sarah, about the S for Sex on the TV ratings for LGM2

Miranda: "Please tell me that guy [a cop!] did not just spit tobacco out his window."
Laura: "It's Ohio."

Saturday Quotes

"I do it both ways." - Miranda eating candy buttons

"I'm getting that evil laugh." - Laura

"That's his butt." - Theresa explaining Oscar's ultrasound picture

"We're in Kentucky!" - Natalie

"I'm really not impressed with the Big Boy bathrooms in Park Hills, Kentucky." - Nick

"Oh, yeah, drunk Scapers at a mall." - Gigi

"We'll come back drunk, you'll love us then." - Sarah to the hotel staff

"They're coming for Gigi again!" - Laura, after seeing the cops heading down the street

"Drove all the way to Cincinnati to have her picture taken with the Charlie's Angels shirt." - Heather re: Miranda

"Someone needs to start a list of cities the Scapers aren't allowed in." - Nick

"We've scared one local so that's one down off our list." - Sarah

"I am just so obnoxious." - Natalie

"Smell the love." - Heather

"Surround yourself in decca." - Natalie

"My baby's gonna be man candy." - Heather

"You have to be patient. Not an easy thing when you have a trigger finger for shopping." - Miranda

"I could not wear anything shinier than my hair." - Natalie

"Go, kid, go!" - Sarah

"Cleavage Con." - Miranda

"You're a little piece of man candy, Nick." - Heather

"When are moon boots going to come back? Dammit, they were cool." - Heather

"This mall is traumatizing me!" - Gigi

"How did that kid come out of a little hole?" - Heather

"I just got dripped on." - Sarah

"There was some hair that walked by with a person attached." - Heather

"My head was erect." - Theresa

"Dimple! I said dimple!" - Theresa

"Traumatized over nipples." - Theresa

"That sounded like Bra, party of two. Yes, there are two..." - Heather

"Gigi was a space cadet." - Theresa

"I'm not flashing anyone anymore." - Theresa

"The one girl's barely got boobie buds." - Heather

"You don't leave chunks." - Heather

"There's two last calls now? Does that apply to the bar?" - Gigi

"I'm getting felt up over here." - Heather

"My ass feels flat." - Heather

"Was it because I said ass or was it the cigar smoke?" - Miranda

"I can't undress myself." - Natalie

"Oh, look, a three-way." - Theresa

"Why does that make me feel gassy?" - Heather

"She just poured chemicals down her throat." - Gigi

"I'll have the three-way." - Heather

Sarah: "Is Mary getting a three-way, too?"
Heather: "She gets in on it."

"Jingle boobs!" - Heather

"Step down." - Amy

"Be interesting, dammit." - Natalie

"See, she did poke me! She did!" - Heather

Natalie: "The classy things I get on tape."
Theresa: "And we're sober."

"I think he's more traumatized by Corde jumping on him every time she saw him." - Natalie, re: Nick

"Heather just lost her potato." - Natalie

"Heather, remember that woman we saw with the hair?" - Sarah
"Oh, NO!" - Heather

"Snort! Snort! Snort! Snort!" - Theresa

"BRAAAAAAAP." - Heather

"Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with me?" - Heather

"We're gonna get a snort out of Heather, but she's not breathing right now." - Theresa

"Every time you click on Heather you get another bodily function." - Gigi

"I got a lump!" - Heather

"Mama Jugs." - Theresa

"Is everyone happy with their three-way?" - Natalie

"I'm having crouton issues!" - Natalie

"I'm in full evil mode!" - Gigi

"I can find all kinds of things to color on." - Laura

"Don't even ask what's dripping out of her mouth." - Laura

"It's Oral Con." - Laura

Heather: "You're traumatizing me!"
Theresa: "You're traumatizing yourself, honey."

"If you wait for them, I can flash them." - Amy

"Wake up, Amy, got some flashing to do." - Laura

"Put your pants back on." - Miranda

"There was a flash." -Theresa

"That was good clean fun." - Nick

"You snurched the step down sign?!" - Sarah to Amy

"I don't know if I want to take it off." - Heather

"Do you wanna touch it?" - Heather

"Would you like to Super Size your butt?" - Sarah

"I just ate your cherry." - Laura

"I didn't know you had the thing pointed at me." - Amy

"I'm not going to be the one to set the bed on fire during a ScaperCon meeting." - Sarah

Sunday Quotes

"I've never heard myself snore." - Heather

"You look like Pebbles." - Gigi

The Sausage Chronicles:
"Amy lost her wiener." - Heather

"Good wieners." - Miranda

"At least it wasn't a wiener." - Sarah

"It's your wiener anyway." - Heather

"Found my wiener." - Amy

"If there's a wiener in it, it's decaf." - Amy

"I got a picture of Amy's wiener. The one that fell off the table. In a non-sexual way." - Miranda

"Don't tell me you're putting sugar on your wiener." - Sarah

"In any other group this would be odd." - Nick

"Is the wiener like a shriner now?" - Heather

"All sausages are not created Equal." - Sarah

"Sarah's got a nugget on her plate." - Heather

"Look at Amy play with that wiener!" - Heather

"The wiener fell off." - Nick

Heather: "He's going to catch a chill."
Miranda: "He's going to get shrinkage."

"Your parents may have wondered why you played with food like that and taken you to a therapist." -Gigi

"She took Junior!" -Sarah

"I'll share my wiener." - Amy

"The weiner goes away and everyone stops being interesting?" -Natalie
< /The Sausage Chronicles >

"Context not included." - Sarah

"Keep telling yourself that, Pebbles." - Natalie to Laura

"It's like foreplay." -Laura

"I'm getting incestuous, Nick, just relax." - Laura

"I'm not sitting in this corner anymore!" - Miranda

"Please don't lick my camera." - Natalie

"It's like National Geographic: Journey to the Pores." -Laura

"There will be no licking." -Nick

Nick: "Claim your butt."
Natalie: "I tried that, it didn't work."

"Does Gigi have a distinctive butt?" - Heather

"Are you admiring your chest again?" - Theresa

"I had her up against the wall." - Laura

"Violating the quote list?" - Nick

"There's always violation going on of some sort." - Nick

"My liver kicked me in the stomach last night." - Miranda

"My liver is divorcing me." - Laura

"They're the PK fry guys." - Sarah

"So you've got a yarn fetish, huh?" - Heather

Theresa: "I am normal."
Gigi: "< laugh > She thinks she's normal! < cackle >"

"What was that cheesy shit-eating grin?" - Heather

"I'm too mature for that." - Theresa

"Licking the bedspreads." - Amy

"There will be no licking of the spreads." - Heather

"Spreading the lick?" - Theresa

"Tongue met spread." - Natalie

"That was the chair!" - Heather

"Another bowels of hell." - Laura

"That was the chair. It hurt my butt." - Heather

Heather: "Poor Nick was about two seconds from getting an education."
Nick: "OH."

"Remind me to stay out of our room." - Nick

"My butt is wet." - Theresa

"Why do I keep forgetting she has that damn note pad?" - Theresa re: Natalie

"Stop playing with my shirt." - Natalie

"Just be careful about doing anything in anyone else's room." - Nick

"You're violating everyone's rooms." - Laura

"There's a 'Do Not Disturb' sign for a reason." - Laura

"I've already got a ticket to hell." - Laura

"It looks like we're all throwing up into the fountain." - Laura re: the Butt Shot

"Back to the butts." - Nick

"I'm feeling like a glazed donut." - Laura

"I'm pregnant, I can't write myself!" - Amy mocking Heather

"I'm about to lose South America." - Gigi

"If there's one thing my mom hates, it's Republicans." - Heather

"Scratch 'n' sniff!" - Amy

"I know I'd burst into flames." - Heather

"That's why I brought it down. For me to play with." - Nick

"Now it's safe to go back into the bathroom." - Gigi

"So it's butts, boobs and wieners. That's what this weekend is about." - Nick

"I'm a soft groper." - Amy

"We're easy to please." - Heather

"How do you guys feel about food products on you?" - Heather

"My backpack still smells like baked potato." - Heather

"How do you stay regular with all that cheese in you?" - Heather

"You guys all enjoy each other." - Lucia the bartender

"La la la." - Gigi and her mantra

"The cat was making sweet love to Amy's shoes." - Heather

"I could say something really bad but who knows what quote list that would end up on." - Theresa

"Amy was playing with Theresa's bodily secretion." - Theresa

"The video camera gets whipped out." - Natalie

"Did you get it on?" - Nick

Amy re: the peas in the bar mix: "They could be dried snot for all I know."
Heather: *spit*

"I don't wanna know what happened in the bathroom." - Natalie

"Zoom in on the nuts." - Nick

"If I didn't say it, you can't write it." - Nick

"It was a delightful Scaper moment that was heard by many people." - Heather

"The war of the Birdies." - Heather

"She's got her fingers all over them." - Heather

Amy: "I don't like sloppy seconds, thanks."
Theresa: "How about sloppy firsts?"

"Keep writing, Sarah." - Natalie

Heather: "A snort's not gonna happen right now! < indecipherable language >"
Theresa: "Was that in English?"

"Oh my God, it's in my crack! I've got a peanut in my crack!" - Heather

"It's stuck in my bellybutton. Hold on." - Heather

"This is why we spend so much time eating." - Sarah

Theresa: "You can see her dimples."
Heather: "I thought you said nipples."
Theresa: "If you've got nipples on your face, you've got problems."

"Is this the same thinking you use between nipples and dipples?" - Theresa

"I'm never talking again." - Theresa

"I'm slurpy." - Natalie

"That had nothing to do with anything." - Theresa

Gigi re: Mary: "I went to sleep counting your snores."
Amy: "It was quite soothing."

"That was too close to the line of fire." - Mary

"I'm just not gonna go there." - Amy

"The naked dance around the flames worked." - Heather

"Peed in the backyard twice." - Heather

"I'm not stripping, I'm not dancing." - Ty, who wasn't even there

"I wanted to grab it." - Theresa

"Obscene Scapers? Not possible." -Natalie

"Somebody knows your butt better than you." -Laura

"Oh MY." - Mary

"Get tired of the eye droppers?" - Natalie

"Oh, we do have straws!" - Heather

"That one sounded kind of wet." - Amy

Natalie: "As long as I don't end up with peanuts anywhere?"
Heather: "Did you say peanuts or penis?"

"It's the pregnancy. I'm not really like this!" - Heather

"We go cow-tipping, too." - Heather

"I just can't flick hard enough." - Natalie

"We flicked it!" - Heather

Heather: "Do you guys flick straws in Pennsylvania?"
Amy: "Yeah."
Heather: "See?"
Amy: "In grade school."

"It's another group thingie. Only we look cuter." - Theresa

"Oh my GOD." - Theresa

Theresa: "You had potato spooge on you."
Heather: "How do you spell 'spooge'?"
Sarah and Natalie in unison: "It spooged me!"

"I think we found Heather's peanut." - Natalie

"What is with everyone playing with their food today?" - Mary

"My language skills are slowly declining." - Gigi

"Just give me the book." - Sarah

"Will Theresa be upset that you're defiling the guacamole?" - Natalie

"Bad bad bad thoughts." - Gigi

"I can't wait till you guys come back in July." - Lucia, and she was SERIOUS

"Everything always fits." - Sarah

"It's still good. Ew, what the hell is that?! Ew ew ew!" - Amy

"She's never scared me." - Gigi about Theresa's driving

"But I wasn't snoring." - Theresa

"Sorry about pushing you against the wall." - Laura

"I'm sure I'll be in the bar later." - Laura

"It didn't stick." - Amy

"You're touching my stuff!" - Theresa

"I'm sorry for traumatizing you." - Heather

"Did you just take a picture of my grays?" - Theresa

"I'm sad now." - Sarah, two seconds after everyone else drove away

"Standing in the rain, videotaping from across the street..." -Mary

"Yes, we're standing on the side of the street witha video camera. Do you have a problem with that?" -Sarah

"We are not prostitutes." -Sarah

"If I stand up I'll be the life of the party." - Nick

"Oh my God, you *are* in the elevator." - Mary

"You look like you have a chinchilla on your shoulder." - Natalie

"It gets Scaperized." - Sarah

"You're not looking at the map, you're giving me an opportunity to take a picture of your butt." - Nick

"It's Reflecto-Butt!" - Natalie

"He's just a strange little being." - Mary

"TMFI." - just about everyone at some point

"There's Heather, she's got flaps." - Sarah

"I just shouldn't even talk." - Sarah

"Surprise, I missed Amy." - Sarah

"I still remember his butt." - Natalie

"You're gonna snort so bad." - Sarah

Nick: "ScaperButt.com! Someone has to register that just do we have that, even if we don't use it."
Natalie: "No squatters on that one."

"She couldn't jump high enough to get on me." - Nick

Nick: *glub* *choke* *cough* *cough*
Sarah: "I'm not going to look up. I'm just going to keep writing."

"My shirt's wet." - Nick

"If it makes you feel better, I almost choked on my half-chewed Twizzler." - Natalie

"All the water is out of my nose now." - Nick

"It was a very Under-the-Sea sound." - Sarah

"I have more respect for my nose than that." - Sarah

"What day did I just say it was?" - Sarah

"'Nick, what did you learn at ScaperCon?' 'Knock. Always knock.'" - Sarah

Natalie: "That was a jerk."
Sarah: "Yeah, that was a falling-asleep jerk."

"You thought I was sleeping." - Sarah

Mary: "We could all eat the pizza on top of the TV."
Sarah: "Then we could all go to the emergency room for food poisoning."

"I don't need to be taking porn pics in front of my brother." - Natalie

Natalie: "At least he's not snorting it out his nose."
Sarah: "Or any other orifice."

"Temptation Island, full of venereal disease." - Natalie

"Where's Ohio?" - Nick gets the map out

"I'll write it down. < pause > What was the quote?" - Nick

"It's a rule. I will not sleep in the same bed with anyone who isn't clothed. Unless they're really really cute and male." - Natalie

"Let me go let me go let me go!" - Sarah to the seat belt

"We're going to get kicked out of Wendy's and we haven't even gone in yet!" - Sarah

"You made me cry at Wendy's!" - Natalie

"Oh my God, the squid has suction." - Natalie

"That's a big honking suction cup that's not very sucky." - Sarah

"Do not suction the squid to my glasses." - Sarah

"I'm not talking, I can't slow down." - Natalie

"I think we need to go back to the hotel now." - Mary

"And you're going to tell me who the hell Mary is and why she doesn't want to talk to me!" - Corde, via Natalie's cell phone

Natalie: "Ty's gonna strip at the next Midwest meeting."
Corde: "How do I get invited to that?"

"No, I'm not drunk!" - Natalie to Corde

"All right, it's my napkin now, dammit." - Mary

"If you lick the squid it's yours." - Sarah

"Please tell me you didn't lick the squid. Oh my God, you licked the squid." - Sarah

"I think I need a boyfriend." - Natalie

"If you lick it, Paul will come." - Nick

"I've been reduced to sounds of... stuff." - Natalie

"I'm tired and I don't want to play anymore." - Mary

"Gigi's got a high butt." - Sarah

"Puppy dogs and Patrick Rafter. Those are happy thoughts." - Sarah

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