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babycon - Laugh now


comedownstairs
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:50 am babycon


Thursday Quotes

Liz: "Who's your gynecologist?"
Jason: "That one guy, but he's really rough. I think he's getting too much pleasure out of it."

"I'm not going to drive the bar!" - Rona

"How am I supposed to send ICQ messages to your mom when I don't know if she's wearing a remote controlled device?" - Rona

"I have no problem pitching a tent." - Jason

"You have to squish it into a little box." - Liz

"And the pig is nuzzling your snake." - Rona

"It can't be that hard, can it?" - Jason

"I drilled the tree so I can put my libido in it." - Jason

"I'm just here for the alcohol." - Gary

"It's like, 'Oh, Natalie, the girl with the exploding head.'" - Natalie, said with a Liz head-tilt

"Forget smoking, if you need something to do while driving, just masturbate." - Jason

"At this point I'd be happy to die with my pants on." - Rona

"Rona just made the O face!" - Liz

"She's still eating her old man genitals." - Jason

"Num num num." - Rona

Applebee's waitress: "I went to high school with you."
Liz: "Dammit!"

"Pants are wet enough, I don't need any more help." - Gary

"So honey, when are we gonna sign divorce papers so we can go out to a movie again?" - Jason


Friday - Sunday Quotes (Bloomington)

"The Steak and Shake sign says 'How about a 3-way.'" - Sarah

"I should so be in jail." - Tinka

"Did you see my glass pee?" - Heather

"That's like nippleage area." - Heather

"I keep waiting for her to say 'tay inna wee-in..." - Heather, watching the ep

"You're not a toy, you're not a toy..." - Heather to Oscar

"She's got him heavy breathing over here." - Sarah

"You've excited my son?" - Heather

"Sometimes you just gotta have something in your mouth." - Tinka

Natalie's camera: *click*
Theresa: "Shit."

"Is Theresa making spit bubbles?" - Natalie

"I drooled on her!" - Heather

"I think Scapers are just a sleep show." - Natalie

"Peep." - Oscar

"Xena gave me a stroke." - Tinka

"Someone forcefully flushed." - Sarah re: the broken handle on the toilet

"I dripped all over myself." - Tinka

"Tomorrow, pee in the shower." - Sarah

"I will not sneeze! Can I use your bathroom?" - Sarah, mocking Natalie

"I hope we don't have neighbors." - Sarah

"We're handicapped, okay?" - Sarah

"Word to the wise, do not inhale dust." - Tinka

"I much prefer the 'cuddling leads to fondling'." - Sarah

"I think Dick and the pen ran off. I can't find him, either." - Tinka

"Does anybody have drugs?" - Tinka

Heather: "You can't spell breast."
Sarah: "Grilled chicken boob sandwich."

"Tinka, go play with my dog." - Heather

Theresa: "How about a woody?"
Heather: "You don't have the equipment to have a woody."

"That was phlegm!" - Natalie

"The family that drools together, stays together." - Tinka

"Once you go boob, it's hard to go back." - Heather

"It spooged on me! I've been spooged." - Heather

"Oh, that does not look like a vagina." - Heather, retelling stories of Oscar's birth

"You can have... the cherry." - Heather, knowing she was going to be quoted

"It's White Trash Barbie. All she needs is a lottery ticket and a pack of cigarettes." - Tony

"His toes look like worms." - Heather

"Quit flicking me." - Theresa

"Grab the boob." - Heather

"This is the Holy Grail!" - Heather re: Natalie

"First sentence: Ooh, when's Aunt Natalie coming over?" - Heather

"I date guys like you." - Natalie to Oscar

"Are you playing with his maggots?" - Sarah

"Oh, NO!" - Theresa

"The ol' crotch hold." - Heather

"You sneezed in my cleavage." - Heather

"Do I still have eyebrows?" - Natalie

"Foofy?" - Tinka and Natalie in unison

"Something fuzzy down here." - Heather

"Fun size thighs!" - Tinka

Heather: "I'm already becoming unladylike."
Theresa: "You just put your elbow down in bird shit."

Grill: *whoosh*
Heather: "We have fire now."

"That cloud looks like Oscar!" - Tinka

"Use your imagination or have a drink of alcohol." - Tinka

"Bullwinkle. He's disguised as a dog." - Sarah

"I'm gonna be on my back for the rest of the night." - Natalie

"I got wet." - Tinka

"I'm probably close to easy." - Natalie

"You're laughing at me but you're blowing the bottle." - Natalie

"Liquor makes me stupid." - Natalie

"I'm on crack. Or at least vodka." - Natalie

"Sarah likes the phallics." - Tinka

"I call people sluts and they're like, a nun." - Natalie

(while washing dishes)
Zeke: < strange look >
Sarah: "Breast pump."
Zeke: "Yeah. Okay." < quickly puts the breast pump down >
Sarah: "The Good Samaritan line has been drawn."

"Sadly, you can't get drunk by osmosis." - Zeke

"Three years and I'll be legal. That's lame." - Tinka

"Oh, so that's what bondage is." - Zeke, mocking the movie

"Deck him, deck him... I didn't say 'bitch slap', I said 'deck'!" - Zeke

"Porn just hits me right in the heart." - Tinka

Zeke: "Porn porn porn porn."
Sarah: "Then porn said to the porn..."
Tinka: "Tinka porn."

"I can't swallow from here." - Natalie

"Porn is my life." - Tinka

Tinka: "Natalie is free and easy."
Heather: "Can I get that on a T-shirt?"

"I don't need the flashing." - Natalie

Tinka: "Porn is no longer my life."
Sarah: "Are you disappointed?"
Tinka: "Yeah."

"Take your clothes off." - Sarah

"Do we get reduced rates since we had to pee in the shower all weekend?" - Sarah

"I am the Toilet Goddess." - Sarah

Natalie: "I just stepped on Dick."
Tinka: "Oh! My Dick! You disrobed him as well."

"What'd you do at BabyCon? We drank alcohol and watched porn." - Tinka

Tinka: "At least it was soft porn."
Sarah: "She says as she cuddles Dick to her chest."

"Oh, yay, quotes about my boobs." - Natalie

"I only do stuff like that when I'm drunk." - Kathe via cell phone


Sunday Quotes (Hammond)

"The Power of Christ compels you!" - Jason

"Oh my God, I just made the quote list for 'The Power of Christ compels you.'" - Jason

"I think I got a boob in there." - Rona

"Oh, you got teeth!" - Sarah to Zachary

"Oh, boobs. Good grab!" - Rona to Zachary

Liz: "Rona dress you up in her clothes a lot?"
Gary: "No, I do that myself."
Rona: *choke*

Rona: "I've got apiece of meat stuck in my throat."
Liz's sister Katie: "Happens a lot, doesn't it?"

"Ooh, belly fur!" - Rona

"I could be all out there, but I'd have to see how much cash you all have?" - Jason

"Whore." - Liz

"I'm very easy." - Rona

"The roof licked the frying pan?" - Rona

"I've got liquid on the floor here." - Liz

Jason: "It won't squeak enough."
Gary: "Get a bigger squeaker."

"We're going to have to play between the sheets on the way home." - Rona

"I've been here four days and I haven't licked you yet." - Rona

"Rona germs!" - Liz

"Oh, I get to see these sober." - Natalie re: Sarah's vids

"Needed more scantily-clad quarter-porn." - Sarah

"The things you can do with a piece of garlic toast and a mozzarella stick." - Rona

"Not worthy, not worthy!" - Liz

"Ew icky ew! Wrong!" - Liz, re: Rygel in S&M gear

"Thank you, Matt Newton, for walking down the stairs in tempo." - Sarah

"Fake it. I do." - Rona

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