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debauchery - Laugh now

Oct. 26th, 2004 07:38 pm debauchery

Friday Quotes

"I will not reduce speed!" - Theresa

"I have gummy bears falling in my crotch." - Miranda

"All I have to do is pee this latte out." - Miranda

"They're talking about wet crotches." - Miranda

"We want the three-way, baby." - Laura to the pizza guy

"We like it in the middle." - Laura

Laura: "You want to come here?"
Heather: "Maybe he just wants to come."

Theresa: "Midwest Scaper Hodown."
Laura: "Emphasis on the ho."

"Ew, icky." - Liz

"Every time someone says catheter, ooooh. " - Dan

"If this stuff was legal, everyone would be unconscious!" - Jason

"Oh, that was good for me." - Laura

"I think he licked his nether regions." - Laura

"You want to wipe off the back of my neck now?" - Heather

"You people have dirty minds." - Dan

"Context not included." - Mary

"My hair is tingling." - Natalie

"You walk around all day with itchy boobs." - Liz

Heather: "Gigi, the naked thing is a go."
Gigi: "We will be old and gray and Oscar will be married before I get naked."

"I'd like to hear him scream.... I'd like to *make* him scream." - Liz

"Lick each other or something." - Liz

"Everything is nonsexual. Unless of course it's not." - Liz

"If you take a bath with me, Gigi, he'll move then." - Heather

"Where's Amy?" - Gigi

"We just had a threesome." - Laura

"I'm all warm and glowy now." - Liz

"You twisted Scaper chick you." - Laura

"When I fall asleep at 9:05, please don't tape me to the floor." - Sarah

"Looks like Moya's got a splinter." - Miranda

Theresa: "What's with her and the shit she thinks she hears?"
Heather: "It's the pregnancy. Always the pregnancy."

"No more pictures till I'm naked." - Jason

"She said neener neener. Why am I so amused by that?" - Tinka

"Ben Browder in a tux? Can you invite him to your wedding?" - Laura to Liz

"What's it like to know these things?" - Liz

"Wine in a box is working." - Theresa

"I hear a snort coming on." - Laura

"You and your Lite Brite hair." -?

"I couldn't tell if it was a butt crack or a cleavage shot." - Laura

"Learned my lesson last time, don't show my scar." - Dan

"Vibrating my butt." - Sarah

"Who wants to order me up a cute guy with this?" - Natalie

"In a very nonsexual way, I've got to get this bra off." - Laura

"I can't take this seriously. I'm too tired." - Miranda

Natalie: "I'm still tingling."
Sarah: "Is that a bad thing?"

"This was like the porn vid." - Sarah

"You have to really think about how to get it off." - Laura

"Stick your finger in and lick it." - Liz

"Amy, would you like to have a lick?" - Liz

"There's more to lick if you guys want." - Liz

"I haven't been able to lick for a while." - Eric

"The more gooier the better." - Liz

"How do ducks have sex?" - Liz

"I'm not licking, I'm spooning." - Natalie

"She's rocking me." - Heather

"Boob shots!" - Rona

"I brought my Smurfs sleeping bag." - Tinka (proudly)

"I've always wanted to tongue a redhead." - Rona

"I can't sleep without Dick." - Tinka

"That guy could get a restraining order against Sam I Am." - Liz

"The stuff that never made it into Dr. Seuss books." - Liz

"I can't imagine that context for any of these could be fine." - Rona

"Liz hasn't been jumped in a while." - Rona

"Tell me a bedtime story *without* Muppet porn." - Natalie

Saturday Quotes (aka The Shower/Body Shot Chronicles)

"They're eighteen and have never been laid. I don't care what they think." - Rona

"You didn't tell me to wait for your chin and your face and your cleavage." - Rona

"I can do without the ferret in my pants." - Natalie

"I've never been licked by a ferret before." - Natalie

"Someone needs to stroke it." -Chris

"The person with the biggest mouth has to bite the tip off." -Chris

"Pardon me for patting your boob." - Sarah

"I'm sorry for talking naughty in front of your children." - Liz

"I am coming to see the boobs." - Miranda

"We are a sick group of people." - Gigi

"Get off my butt." - Laura

"What batteries does that take?" - Theresa

"Okay, what sounds like a dying monkey?" - Natalie

"Oh my God, I look crazed!' - Laura

"You guys are just freaks, that's all." -Chris

"I'll let someone else handle the penis." - Sarah

"It's a droopy penis." - Rona

"Save the penis." - Sarah

"The poor penis." - Sarah

"Lick all the creamy white stuff." - Liz

"That just made me the model for the cake." - Gary

"I've always wanted one of those." - Liz

"I've been wondering what a real man looked like." - Liz

"Stick it in your cleavage." - Rona

"It's making a noise." - Liz

"Limp and falling already. How typical." - Liz

"Amy, you're such a tease." - Liz

"We can eat the penis." - Liz

"Mm, tastes salty." - Liz

"You're going to get it in the dick." - Tinka

"It's fun sucking miniature penises." - Miranda

"She stuck a little penis behind her ear." - Heather

"We're busy sucking on penises." - Liz

"If it's green it falls off." - Liz

"She's saving her penis for later." - Theresa

"You've got to hold it to keep it up." - Liz

"Stubby penis." - Theresa

"I'm Warrior Woman, not Stinky Underwear in the Wall Woman." - Heather

"NO! Natalie, no!" - Heather

"This story is so over." - Heather

"Eric just licked my penis." - Liz

Theresa: "Did you lick it?"
Laura: "I was hungry."

"I'm going to suck my wine through a penis." - Liz

"Wine from a penis tastes much better than beer through a penis." - Theresa

"Gigi's penis straw spooged." - Theresa

"It's still spooging." - Theresa

"If you were any good, that wouldn't happen." - Rona

"You're supposed to suck that out." - Theresa

"I wanted to see his naked ass on the floor." - Liz

"Everybody's sucking on penises." - Theresa

"I was looking at your penis." - Tinka

"Spooging." - Miranda

"The penis is removable." - Liz

"It conforms to your needs." - Heather

"I hate when it's bent." - Tinka

"You wet your pants for a dollar?" -Chris

"What else did you swallow?" - Theresa

"I don't swallow." -Chris

"I just lost my appetite." - Theresa

"That happens when penises are involved." - Tinka

"You're hot after a gay guy." - Heather

"Someone wanna hand me a Coke and a penis?" - Natalie

"It tastes like rubber." -Chris

"You know why I'm over here quiet." - Eric

"We've definitely got to cut the penis." - Liz

"That's some serious S&M shit going on here." - Liz

Rona: "That's a woman who knows her way around a whipped cream can."
Heather: "Or a penis."

"I would love a blow job... Would you like a blow job?" - Liz

"I thought she was gonna unhinge her jaw." - Laura

"I don't need a vibrator." -Chris

"You've seen me drunk, you've just never seen me not drunk." - Amy

"I think I got felt up." - Theresa

"It was a group grope." - Laura

"Smushy sex." -?

"Come on in, baby." - Rona

"I put it in my pants, sweetheart." - Liz

"Come on, Rona, let's get us some blow jobs." - Liz

"There's nothing worse than doing a blow job by yourself." - Rona

"He was hitting all the flop spots." - Theresa

Chris: "Freaks!"
Sarah: "But we're happy freaks."

"I had to go shopping at a smut store to get her present." - Rona

"I just saw way more than I ever wanted to of your relationship." - Liz

"Who's your mommy!" - Heather

"So maybe I have an oral fixation, okay?" - Liz

"She's a multiple snorter." - Natalie

"Got a little penis action going." - Tinka

"Let's all share the snort." - Theresa

"She sounds like a grown-up person." - Laura

"Is there not white crusty stuff?" - Heather

"I got attacked." - Theresa

"I always clean my messes." - Eric

"I don't want to go to sleep. I'm afraid of Heather's mom." - Saimhe

"I take it Rona really was on her knees this morning." - Liz

"The bathroom has a lock on the door." - Rona

"Heather was all boobs on that one." -?

"I prefer blow jobs to rattlesnakes." - Rona

"I've always believed you don't need kneepads cause if you are doing it right he won't be able to stand." - Rona

"I can't get all those heads in my mouth." - Amy

"My mouth burns, I think I had it in there too long." - Natalie

"Rona's the designated drinker." - Theresa

"You could peddle that stuff on the street." -Tony

"Tony has a quote!" - thedancinggypsy

"You've got that sex-me-up look." - Heather

"They're superheroes with manners." - Rona

"You made Tinka cry!" - Heather

Theresa: "We should gang up on Natalie."
Natalie: "You're not allowed to gang up on me because I wouldn't get anything out of it."

"Bend over, Dan." - Natalie

Natalie: "Amy's the one that's supposed to be naked."
Amy: "What?!"

"We wonder, too, what amsbar is." - Heather

"Tinkle tinkle, little star." -Bethie

"thedancinggypsy looks like a burrito." - Mary

"Mary's my topping." - Liz

"Grab her, grab her, grab her!" - Laura

"No, no! Just don't do that to me, okay?" - Gigi

"This is traumatizing me." - Gigi

"How do I cut this?" - Liz, re: the penis cake

"What are you doing to my daughter?" - Gary

"That's why men like older women, they can take their teeth out." - Gary

"Let her do that again, cuz she just felt me up." - Theresa

"Oh my God, it's a stiffy." - Heather

Liz: "It's got a hard center."
Heather: "Did you think it would be filled with creamy nougat?"

"Take that penis away." - Eric

"Her ass has been pinched. And everything taken off the desk." - Laura

"That was a pretty good ass pinching." - Laura

"Lick him, please." - Liz

"We're having problems with your wiener." - Rona

"I'm going to get some penis." - Liz

"Don't let my phlegm discourage you." - Sarah

"Panoramic boob shot." - Natalie

"I like to rub your head." - Liz

"No coffee here, just liquor." - Eric

"If you keep pulling in and out, in and out, something's going to happen." -?

"Don't go down my shirt." - Heather

"It squirted in my mouth." - Liz

"I'm either going to have to get this off or put some more on." - Natalie re: the whipped cream stain on her shirt

"My penis is rebelling against me." - Liz

"We have a community penis." - Tinka

"She's got salt in her bra, and put handprints on a steamy window." - Gigi

"Dig deep, just leave me some for later." - Gary

"Let me blow my nose first." - Amy

"By the way, I'm not wearing a bra." - Heather

"Amy's just washing the dishes." - Sarah

"Should I pull the roll of quarters out of my jeans?" - Gary

Heather: "You have a third nipple?"
Eric: "It's a mole."
Heather: "Oh."

"Do me, baby!" - Amy

"Is that your lip I was sucking?" - Eric

"I stuck it too far in there, and the only way I could get it out was by sucking it out." - Eric

Everyone: "Hahaha."
Natalie: "*snort*"
Rona: "*snort*"
Natalie: "*snort*"
Rona: "*snort*"

"Who needs a man when you have Gigi and a vibrating chair?" - Liz

"Anybody for a gummy boob?" - Rona

"Oh, yeah, I'll suck on a boob." - Liz

"They're different flavored boobs. They're a fruity variety." - Sarah

"They're too hard." - Natalie

"Liz, are you throbbing on Gigi?" - Heather

"There's something down there, maybe I should see what it is." - Laura

"I wasn't going to be the freak this time, really!" - Natalie

"No tongue!" - Rona

"You can look at me." - Liz

"Natalie, I can totally see your mom getting naked." - Liz

"Um, no." - Natalie's mother the next day after seeing that quote

"Was that a muffled snort?" -?

"Do you need a new position? This one's not working for you." - Rona

"It's losing its flavor now." - Liz

"Was I smoking something illegal when I wrote that?" - Liz

"Hate to break it to you, but you're nude from the waist down." - Sarah

"I left my mark in other places." - Rona

"Liz, are you describing a fantasy?" - Laura

"I have dancing boobs on my head." - Tinka

"Mickey Mouse on porn." - Rona

"Put the boobs on her head." - Liz

"Not many people can say they've had dancing boobs on their head." - Tinka

"A new brand of Scaper porn." - Mary

"She's got to milk it more to get the goods." - Sarah

"You're from wherever, so..." - Liz

"OoooAAAAHHH!!!" - Gigi

"I had a good grip on it." - Liz

"Some things do not need batteries." - Liz

"DelvianPrince, lay down like the bitch you are." - Liz

"I think I need a cold shower after that one." - Liz

"Do I look shy?" - Rona

"I like what I licked." - Rona

"I'm perfectly sober." - Natalie

"Anyone else want their nipples licked?" - Liz

"Oh my God, you did *not* just say that." - Eric

"We can all do her." - Rona

"I think my teeth are sticky." - Liz

"Look at this, I can chew again." - Natalie

"Never chew, always swallow." - Rona

"I'm losing the buzz, which is good, because I'm sick of that." - Natalie

"Stay there, Legs!" - Natalie to Tinka

Tinka: "I'm just tired."
Rona: "That's not tired, that's drunk."

"After all this drinking and a lemon, I need lipstick." - Natalie

"Just for future information, in case I lose him, my husband is out there with a bunch of women." - Rona

Natalie: "I need a brush."
Rona: "You need a brush and lipstick? At this point no one can see just one of you." Yes this was said quite some time after the first one, lol

"What's alive in the bedroom?" - Theresa

"Let me blow my nose first. It'll be better for everyone." - Amy before receiving a body shot

"I can chew again! I don't have to think about it!" - Natalie

"I'm not going to comment about how I just stepped in something wet. Let's hope it was water." - Sarah

"There are certain sites you can't show that on without charging." - Eric

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." - Natalie

"Oh my God, oh my God, she's so walking home." - Natalie re: Liz

Sunday Quotes

"Because it wouldn't be a Scaper gathering without sirens." - Sarah

"It had an extra-wide slot." - Tinka

"I like blow jobs." - Tinka

"Big street. Bob Evans. Big sign. Look for it." - Sarah

"At least I didn't lick the squid." - Sarah

"I'm squeaking now." - Natalie

"We've just gone past the snorting stage and started squeaking." - Sarah

"She might as well have licked the window." - Sarah

"Ew, what's in my pocket?" - Tinka

"I'll take the bear at the registration desk." - Sarah

"I think he took an ovary and shook it." - Heather

"That's what he's been sticking down my ovary." - Heather

"And I said *dimples*." - Theresa, who didn't

"Who's on who here?" - Kandy the waitress

"I was probably going potty." - Heather

"I held you down." - Heather

"He looks like Charlie Brown without a head." - Heather

Theresa (reading the quote list): "'What's in my pecker?'"
Natalie: "*Pocket*."

"You made the quote list just by reading a quote." - Heather to Theresa

"Okay, so I was horny, okay?" - Theresa

"I think you need to catch a case of laryngitis before you come here." - Gigi

"I just can't catch a break." - Theresa

"Can I just hide in the bedroom?" - Theresa

"I'm good with fluids." - Tinka

"Catholic?" - Chris, looking at Gigi

"I'm afraid if we light any candles, something might blow up." - Miranda

"I'm going to use this bag for the butts." - Laura

"You're dropping your boobs, Miranda's dropping her boobs..." - Sarah

"This color boob doesn't taste good." - Tinka

"It's a bad boob." - Miranda

"I'm sure you can find someone to lick it off." - Natalie

"I'm never going to be able to drink again without my penis." - Rona

"I'm in the book!" - Rona

"I don't remember shedding this much before." - Sarah

"How do you get to this penis here?" -Chris

"I smell like Bullwinkle." - Tinka

"She has penises in her pocket." - Mary

"I've got to take my hostility out on someone. Might as well be you." -Chris

"Does anybody have a need to suck on something?" - Rona

"I'm going home with a penis." - Rona

"Everybody sucked them but me." - Rona

"Eric's a ponytail kind of girl." - Rona

Eric: "I should do the other side and make it match."
Gary: "That's why they make them that way."

"I'll just scrape some off the penis." - Eric

"I got a pubic hair." - Eric

"Mmmmm, that's good, I didn't have any of this yesterday." - Eric

"That's not mine because it's too short." - Eric

"Oooo! Sugar!!" -Bethie

Heather: "You know what, I've got sucker on my face."
Sarah: "That was me."

"Give me a freebie, baby." - Rona

"I have to be home by eight, but it's a four and a half hour drive if I do 90..." - Sarah

"Me and Rob Thomas are going to bond." - Sarah

"I'm sleeping!" -Bethie

"Can you go potty while you're sleeping?" - Rona

"My sister likes boys. And girls." -Kayleigh

"Okay, that feels weird. But not in a good way." - Natalie

"Assume the Scaper position." - Dan

"No quote list threat now!" - Gigi

"You and Sarah are interchangeable." - Liz to Natalie

"You're wrong, Amy." - Liz

"What is it with this family? Everybody's licking themselves." - Eric

"Love masturbation." - Eric

"Do you like my toe? Is it turning you on?" - Miranda

"You can touch people now, it's okay." - Heather

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